Good parenting focuses on developing independence in children, so redundancy becomes the aim for parents. Good parenting involves a style that considers children’s age and stage of development. That is, there is a match between expectations, discipline and resilience-building strategies and children’s developmental age. Good parenting aims at socialising kids. Parents provide children and young people with social scripts to enable them to negotiate their expanding social horizons. This social scripting helps them negotiate their online and offline worlds. Good parenting develops a growth mindset in kids rather than a mindset that says that a child’s intelligence is fixed. Parenting that develops a growth mindset links kids’ success to effort and strategy as opposed to purely recognising and developing natural ability.
If you want to be a good parent here are 8 skills that a good parent has and you should focus on adapting:
- Show Good Judgement and Stick to Your Rules
It’s your parental duty to teach your children the difference between right and wrong. Not only do you need to teach these lessons to your kids you need to follow these rules, too. This means that you may not always be right and will need to fess up. There will be times when you’ll say no to your kids, and mean it. Then there will be other times when you’ve made a mistake and you’ll change your mind. Just be clear to say, “I was wrong.” and why you changed your mind. We all make mistakes.
- You cannot be too loving.
It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love. What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love things like leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions.
- Teach your children to focus on the needs of others.
Children find greater happiness when they give to others sacrificially. These are interesting findings because most of us are naturally self-centered. We look out for our own needs before the needs of others. But the research indicates that if we overcome our selfish nature and focus on the needs of others, we’ll be happier. If you want your children to lead joyful, fulfilling lives, teach them to serve others and contribute. Involve them in activities where they get to help others and make a positive impact. When your children think more in terms of contribution and less in terms of achievement, they’ll be on the path of building a meaningful life.
- Parent by example.
Think of your kids as little bipedal copy machines who will mimic everything you do. If you behave badly, you are giving them permission to act in the same ways. Check-in with yourself, and don’t lose it in front of the children.
- Help your children develop social skills.
Researchers tracked more than 750 children over a period of 13 to 19 years. They found a correlation between the children’s social skills as kindergarteners and how self-confident and successful they were as adults.
- Stay In Control of Your Emotions
If you lose your cool in front of your kids they may become fearful of you. Whether you’re arguing with a bill collector on the phone or you’re having a spat with your spouse, don’t exhibit angry behavior in the presence of your children. Anytime you lose control and yell or argue with someone, you’re showing your children this is how people react when times get tough.
- Foster your child’s independence
Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, she’s going to need both. It’s normal for children to push for autonomy. Many parents mistakenly equate their child’s independence with rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled by someone else.
- Don’t try to fix everything
Give young kids a chance to find their own solutions. When you lovingly acknowledge a child’s minor frustrations without immediately rushing in to save her, you teach her self-reliance and resilience.
Parents can only teach and protect their children so much, what comes after that? Children will need to learn from a preschool where they can socialise and learn in a structured and safe environment.